Gingerjo’s Blog

I received the date for my booking appointment through the post last night. It’s the day after my first scan so I thought I’d better phone them to check it was OK to do them that way round. Boy, now there’s an administrator who’s got out of bed on the wrong side this morning!

She really bit my head off, completely unnecessarily. I only asked if the appointments should be the other way round and, if so, could I change the booking appointment. She didn’t have details of my scan date, seemed to think I was trying to circumvent the system in some way and was generally aggresive. ‘There are no other slots available, why would you think there would be?’, ’Err, well the letter suggested …’. Of course I didn’t know the name of the midwife that had booked my early scan slot which didn’t help. She said that the appointments are meant to be the other way around, but if the midwife had booked it it must be OK but she wasn’t happy and generally grumped on for a bit before effectively telling me to go away.

I thought about the conversation for a bit after the call and decided I wasn’t satisfied that what I’d been told was correct so I called a different number that I’d been given for the community midwives. Of course, I got the same bloody woman again who was very annoyed that I’d dared to call back! I calmly but firmly explained that I wasn’t entirely confident in the information I’d been given in our previous conversation. Anyway, in the meantime she’d spoken to the midwife who’d booked my scan who’d explained it all to her. I had to suffer her being extremely patronising, but at least I was confident that the answer I was getting was accurate this time. I just hope she was having a bad morning and that she doesn’t speak to everyone who calls like that.

Well so much for Weight Watchers. I’ve finally found a really effective way to control my portion sizes - be 8 weeks pregnant. I can only eat half as much as normal before I’m full. And boy do I suffer if I over eat!

I always used to have a couple of slices of bread with my soup at lunchtime. Not anymore, just the soup is fine. Or I’d hoover up a whole baked potato with tuna - now I manage about half. At home I’d normally have the same as Mark. Now that’s way too much and two-thirds is a struggle. Don’t get me wrong I’m eating well, but I’m certainly eating a lot less. In fact, I’ve probably never eaten so healthily before since the only things that don’t make me feel sick afterwards are fruit, veg and yoghurt.

I was going to get my flu jab this morning but I decided to leave it a couple of weeks. When I woke up this morning I felt mild, but nevertheless classic, symptoms of my period threatening to come on. Now I’m not unduly worried by this because I’ve read that it’s not uncommon for women to experience this in early pregnancy. So long as there’s no spotting you’re fine, but the date is about right and I have my usual headache and abdominal cramps (though much, much milder) so I thought it best not to throw an unknown quantity in the mix.

I’m a little nervous of vaccines because as a child one of them made me extremely ill, in fact my mum feared for my life. Since she never found out what it was about that vaccine that caused the problem I’ve always thought carefully before having a jab just in case it happens again. And a lot of people complain about the H1N1 flu jab.

However, I think I will have it in a few weeks when my body isn’t considering shedding its uterine lining. When you are pregnant you are a little immunocompromised and flu is potentially life threatening even under normal circumstances. I had flu once in university and apart from last Christmas I’ve never felt so poorly. I don’t know what I’d have done if my flatmate hadn’t taken it upon herself to feed me, since I couldn’t prepare food for myself.

From what I’ve read H1N1 is particularly dangerous if you’re pregnant, to both mother and child. So yes, I’ll risk a bad reaction to the vaccine as I think the flu itself would be worse.

Time is passing so quickly. According to my Babycentre app, Pip now has little webbed hands and feet and has nearly lost the primordial tail s/he inherited from our amphibian ancestors. It’s very exciting and I can’t wait for the scan in a few weeks time.

In the meantime I still feel utterly exhausted, somewhat nauseous and utterly lacklustre. I was wondering earlier what Mark’s mum and sister would make of the complete tip that is our house at the moment. They’d probably think I’m slovenly and say to themselves ’well my house never looked like that when I was pregnant!’ (they are fair too nice to say it out loud). In fairness though, I have a good ten to fifteen years on both of them compared to when they were pregnant, so it’s not really a surprise that I’m finding it hard going. It seems so normal now since lots of women do it, but at 36 I am still old for a first-time mother. Hell, a hundred years ago I would probably have been long since dead, so I guess I shouldn’t beat myself up so much!

Tomorrow we’re off to Hull to pick up a baby seat for my Smart car that I bought on ebay. I know all the books say it’s the one thing you shouldn’t buy second hand, but their authors aren’t looking at a £350 bill just for one car. There is only one seat that fits a Smart ForTwo, and I have a very good feeling about the woman I’m buying it from. While we’re there we’ll re-use our ticket for the Deep submarium and watch the fishes for an hour or two. It was a great day out when we visited it in July.

At my appointment with the midwife she gave me a copy of Emma’s diary and told me to fill in the card to get my free Mum to be selections gift. So I did. Why they make such a fuss of this bright pink bag of ‘goodies’ is somewhat beyond me. It contains:

• a newborn disposable nappy
• a sample of cocoa butter lotion for stretch marks
• some disposable nursing pads
• a small packet of blackcurrent flavour fruit flakes (that don’t look good for me)
• a leaflet on baby’s first days
• three adverts for vitamins, a teach-your-baby-to-read system and a survey site

None of these things are of any immediate use to me! I can see the long term value of some of these things, but I think most women would agree that my suggested alternatives below would be more greatly appreciated.

What I really need is:

• a 50% off fresh fruit and veg card valid at all the big supermarket chains for the next 9 months (OK, that’s wishful thinking)
• a voucher for folic acid tablets
• a 25% off introductory discount for maternity wear from Next
• a packet of ginger biscuits or some little trial sachets of Twinings ginger tea (ginger is supposed to help with nausea)
• some dental floss or a mini bottle of mouthwash (pregnancy is bad for your teeth apparently)
• trial sachets of redbush tea (naturally caffeine-free tea)
• some Simple makeup remover wipes (because I keep bursting into tears and I get panda eyes where my mascara runs)
• a trial bottle of Clearasil (for my newly developed acne - hormones ain’t they fun!)

Come on people, you can do better!

I had my first appointment with the midwife today. I’m not sure what I expected but it was more than I got that’s for sure. It was just a bit of a chat really - I was rather disappointed.

She took a few details from me, filled in a couple of forms, took my blood pressure. She asked me which hospital I’d like to have my scans at and told me that I’d get a letter telling me when to go for my screening appointment (whatever that is). She gave me a form to send off for free prescriptions and a copy of Emma’s Diary, which is the diary of a pretend pregnant woman so you can read it week by week and know that what you’re going through is normal.

I explained that my husband is a teacher so the ideal time for my scan would be half term so he could come too. She said I couldn’t go that week because it was too early to be able to do the nuchal fold test. I said I wouldn’t be having any tests done to see if my baby has Downs - there’s only one reason you’d want that information early and that wasn’t an option for me. I think she secretly approved, though she was quick to say she didn’t have an opinion either way. Of course we all know that every woman has an opinion on abortion, whatever she says.

It was obvious from my tone that I meant this - there has never been any doubt in my mind. My mum and I discussed this many times when I was young and I’ve always felt the same. Firstly, I could never murder my own child, I couldn’t live with myself. However, I firmly believe that it is every woman’s right to choose and I’d defend that to the death. She is the one that’s going to be responsible for that life for at least the next sixteen years after all. Secondly, with love and support Downs children can be happy, joyous little souls who light up the world around them. And when fully grown they can lead just as fulfilling and worthwhile lives as folk lacking that extra chromosome. Who am I to judge such a life null and void before it’s even properly started!

Anyway, since there was obviously no question of me changing my mind, the midwife agreed to contact the scanning centre and ask if I could go a week early. We’ve got an appointment on the 27th which is great. Obviously the earlier the better so that we can confirm that my pregnancy is not ectopic.

I did try and ask for reassurance on that front. I explained that I have a severe family history of endometriosis. She said ‘well that doesn’t matter, that would only affect your ability to get pregnant’. Obviously she missed that lecture, which is rather worrying, but then she was very young, probably only recently qualified. She certainly didn’t seem to be aware that endometriosis can cause problems with the fallopian tubes that increase the risk of an ectopic pregnancy. She also didn’t really listen to my concerns except to say that I should go straight to A&E if I’m really worried. She did think though that my recent lack of twinges is a good sign, especially when combined with my new found morning sickness and extremely sore boobs.

She then gave me a list of weeks when I’d have appointments, told me to collect my free gift courtesy from Emma’s Diary and sent me on my merry way.

Well I guess I should be careful what I wish for! I was worried about my lack of nausea, but I needn’t have been - it’s here now and I can’t say I’m enjoying it. I haven’t actually been sick yet but I think it’s only a matter of time. Still, it’ll help keep my weight down I suppose.

I’m quite excited to see the midwife for the first time in a couple of days. I’m not looking forward to the blood tests but they can’t be avoided. But I wonder what else I can expect? I would like a scan to make sure Pip’s definitely not ectopic - I don’t know if that will be available, I’m guessing not.

Other than that I’m doing pretty well. My head feels clear, I’m not quite as tired as I was and I’m not getting as many twinges. I’m eating well, mainly raw fruit and veg because it’s what I seem to want to eat and the thought of it doesn’t turn my stomach. I’ve even found a smoothie I like, which is amazing because normally I think they are rank. My tastes are definitely altering, but one of my colleagues who’s about three months pregnant now was eating a hot cross bun/fried egg sandwich this morning, so I guess drinking a smoothie isn’t that strange.

This weekend Pip is seven weeks old, and s/he seems a bit grumpy about it.

Yesterday I was more tired than I’ve ever felt in my life. It was a beautiful sunny day so we went for a walk around a local lake at a snail’s pace because I just couldn’t go any faster. I had to have a sleep for a couple of hours when we got back. Then it was our neice’s birthday party so I had to find another excuse for not drinking at a family party. Since they only live two minutes down the road I told everyone I was hungover from the night before. I think Mark’s mum is suspicious though. Still only another month or so and we’ll be able to tell everyone. We had a lovely evening but by 10 o’ clock I was starting to struggle so I made Mark take me home.

This morning I feel like a truck has hit me. I’m exhausted and I ache all over. I’m having a lot of abdominal twinges too. Grumpy Pip! There’s so much I ought to be doing, like DIY, cleaning, hoovering, my OU course on the weather, but I think the most I’ll manage is a bit of ironing in front of the telly. I feel quite pathetic, but I know I have to save my strength for work otherwise I’ll never get through the week.

I saw a fortune teller last night. I’ve seen her five or six times before and usually she’s very good. For instance, she told me I was going out with my husband before I’d even decided that we were properly dating. She started talking about my boyfriend and I said I didn’t have one. She said ‘yes you do and you’ll soon realise it’. And so it was. But last night I was very disappointed.

She didn’t mention a baby once, not even when both the Empress and the Nine of Pentacles came up and they both point towards it. She kept talking about stuff at work - who cares? I want to know if all’s well inside my belly!

She did say I was likely to be in contact with a male medical professional who has zero social skills but that he’s probably right and I should trust him. She also said that I’ll be doing a lot of planning for the next six months. Oh, and she thinks there’s going to be an affair at work that’s going to upset everyone. At least that bit of work-related stuff was interesting - I like a bit of gossip, at least so long as it’s not about me. She also mentioned that I might get a promotion in March/April, which seems unlikely as I’ll be just about to go on maternity leave.

In fairness, I don’t think she’s exactly on her game. She was telling me that her son has to have major spinal surgery and that his wife has left him because she doesn’t want the responsibility of caring for him if he’s left in a wheelchair. I wanted to tell her that her son will be fine and that the bitch will come crawling back as soon as he’s recovered, but I doubt she’d have believed me. After all, I’m not the fortune teller. It must be hard to put these things to one side if you are. Bet I’m right though.

I’m a smidgeon worried because I don’t think I’m feeling sick enough. Yes, yes, surely I would think this is a good thing - I’m getting away with it, right? Hmm. What’s bothering me is the idea that nausea in pregnancy is brought on by massive increases in hormones like hCG. If I’m not feeling sick perhaps my hormones aren’t increasing as quickly as they should? What type of pregancy has lower levels of hCG than expected? An ectopic pregnancy. Hmm.

That’s not to say I’m not experiencing any nausea - I have five or ten minute spells where I feel really rather sick, but I’ve only wretched once and that was a couple of weeks ago now. I’m also struggling to each as much as normal, at least at lunchtime.

I’m just not sure if my lack of sickness means anything. Hopefully I’ll find out next Thursday when I visit the midwife for the first time.