Gingerjo’s Blog

Mark and I have been together six years this month, and I love him more now than ever. I don’t know what I’d do without him.

It’s very easy to take someone for granted, to forget how much richer your life became when you met them. I have a little ritual every morning - I make sure that the last thing I say to him before he goes to work is positive, just in case it’s the day when one of us doesn’t come home. That way, whichever one of us is left behind will always have a good memory to hold on to. It must be heartbreaking if your last words to someone were in anger - you could never take them back.

What a lot of people don’t appreciate is that the last time you saw somone will form the most prominent memory you have of them. It doesn’t matter how hard you try, that image will always be the first one that comes to mind. Growing up with my parents’ menagerie, I’ve lost many pets over the years and it’s always the last image that’s the strongest - Rosie my pony in a lot of pain in the stable at Pen y Parc, Big Bird my gander covered in blood where a german shepherd dog had got him, Hula the chihuahua curled up apparently asleep. I feel desperately sorry for people who have to identify their loved ones for the police. I doubt you ever really recover from it.

I’m not feeling maudlin by the way, just reflective.

It’s everywhere. I’ve got my hands full with the prospectus so I was working from home anyway, but, unluckily for me, almost everyone I know can’t make it to work so is getting free days off. My work has closed for the last two days. I don’t know if it’ll open again tomorrow, but I’m working from home again anyway and planning to visit the prospectus design company who are just down the road on Friday so I can walk there if needs be. No real damage done to my deadlines.

Mark’s work also shut (for the first time since he’s worked there, except when they had a burst water main) and have said they’re also staying closed tomorrow. He’s rattling round the house like a caged animal. He’s done everything he can do from home (he’d planned all his lessons over Christmas so nothing to catch up on there!) and he’s now getting very bored. Poor love. And there’s only so much drums and guitar you can play in a day.

Still, it made the newsreaders very happy on TV. I can’t believe they replaced the footy with a special on the bad weather! They could have given us something interesting to watch.

Since I can’t do anything about world affairs I’m rarely moved to comment on them, but I have to tell everyone how disgusted I am with Isreal’s actions in Gaza this last week. Of all the nations in the world Isreal should know better than commit crimes against humanity. Their treatment of Palestinian civilians in this war is appaling and whoever is in command should be tried for war crimes.

Rather than destroy Hammas can’t they see all they are doing is creating the psychological environment for the next generation to develop? Hammas will come back stronger afterwards - their ranks swelled by the young people who have been left bitter and twisted by this war. I understand the need to defend Isreali territory, but bombing the shit out of everyone in Gaza is not going to solve the problem.

Although, I don’t know what will solve the problem. Perhaps it can longer be solved.

Yesterday I was given two free last minute tickets to see The Venetian Twins at the Octagon Theatre in Bolton - it was a corporate hospitality event. So Mark and I went along, not knowing what it was about or what to expect.

We haven’t been to the theatre in ages and we haven’t been to the Octagon before so were we rather looking forward to it - something a bit different for a Thursday night anyway. And it was really good fun - I thoroughly enjoyed it. The play was mad - it was set in early 18th Century Italy and was about the chaos caused by twin brothers unwittingly turning up in the same town to get married unbeknowns to eachother. One was immensely stupid and that other rather clever. Yeah, yeah I hear you cry.

OK, it did have a lot of the Shakespearean farce about it - with one huge bonus - it was actually very funny (I have to confess I’ve never found Shakespearean farces even vaguely amusing). The performances were superb, especially the guy playing the twins, and the set really inventive. They had little trampolines all the way around the stage so they could bounce on and off and around and about for comedic effect. And the other actors were in full view making the sound effects etc when they weren’t ‘on stage’ themselves.

It really made me feel good. Apparently not everyone felt the same way though - one corporate guest went home during the interval saying it was the worst play he’d ever seen. Well if we all liked the same …

I never thought I’d see it again, but the price of petrol has dipped to 99.9p a litre. Even better I couldn’t be bothered filling my car up yesterday for 103.99p a litre so my tank was almost completely empty when I filled up today. Nice.

As a break from working I thought I’d spend a few minutes finding out more about me. We’ve been watching the BBC series ‘The Making of Me’ and it’s peaked my interest - who am I and what are my strengths and weaknesses?

I’ve taken the Jung Typology test at http://www.humanmetrics.com/ - apparently I’m an INFJ or Counselor Idealist.
I scored: introvert - 67%; intuitive - 25%; feeling - 50%; judging - 44%

However, when I take a test on the BBC website (which is based on the Myers-Briggs Type Indictor questionnaire) then I come out as a Resolver as my answers reveal the four aspects of my personality are: introvert, heads, facts and spontaneous.

So I’m not really any the wiser.

I had a fairly drastic haircut on Tuesday - I had about 4 inches cut off and I now have a bob that comes in just below my ears. I can’t say I was particularly happy when I first looked in the mirror - I wasn’t sure if it was me. But now I’ve got used to it, and I even seem to be able to get the ends to curl under like they’re supposed to, I rather like it. It’s wierd though - I’m not used to moussing and styling it every morning but it’s so short it’s not really taking any longer to dry than it did before. And some folk say it makes me look younger which is what every girl in her 30s wants to hear!

A most unexpected and delightful thing happened yesterday. It’s my birthday soon and for the first time in my life a fella (other than my dad) took me out shopping. I really didn’t know what to do - it was so unprescedented! After a great deal of deliberation I decided to choose the Heroes season 1 boxset and a small bottle of exotic booze from Selfridges. I’d never seen Heroes, but everyone’s been saying for ages that it’s just my sort of show. Now I’m completely hooked and Mark is resigned to the fact that he won’t be able to watch any TV at all this week because I’ll be hogging it. He’s such a sweetheart!

Well I’ve spent the past week wanting to apply for jobs but failing miserably. There have been two jobs in the past couple of weeks that I should have really applied for, but when it came down to it my heart wasn’t in it. I even spent most of this evening frantically typing away, but when I really read the job description, not just the bits I liked the sound of, the job didn’t really sound any better than the job I’ve already got. They want the world. That’s not a problem, I can give them the world. But they always want your soul too, and I ain’t givin’ that up!

Along with all that studying - why am I making life hard for myself? I should be enjoying my evenings doing things that give me pleasure - not worrying about the next rung on the ladder. Society seems to insist I should be ambitious - but is that for my benefit or someone else’s? I’m a fool - I should be making hay while the sun is shining. I should leave the rest for a rainy day.

What’s bothering me though is that I don’t know why I’m suffering from job paralysis - is it just laziness or a lack of confidence, or is it that I’m really meant to stay exactly where I am for now? I wish I knew.

It’s been one of those weeks where it’s been impossible to predict what’s coming next.

On Monday I developed severe abdominal pains and had to go home from work. It felt like food poisoning, but apart from the excruiating pain there were no other symptoms. This meant I missed the last week but one of my marketing course. I had a telephone consultation with the doctor and he didn’t have a clue, but we both figured that I wasn’t dying so I’d just have to live with it. I was off Tuesday and Wednesday too, when I was supposed to be in Cheltenham on a training course, so that all went pear shaped too. Daytime telly really is a drag - I think they make it so bad to make going to work preferable.

On Thursday a work colleague decided to leave and left - she’s not working her notice, she’s got a new job starting tomorrow. Well I guess there’s no time like the present. We’re all a bit jealous really that she’s escaped.

Also on Thursday my sister had all manner of problems at work and had to call the Union in to sort it out. I was on emergency counselling duties to help her through it, but I’m not sure that I’d have coped any better than she did if I’d been in her position. Her management team have behaved disgracefully and should all be reprimanded.

On Friday I went out with some friends from work - we didn’t get charged for the train and we all ended up getting our meal for free (although I can’t say how for legal reasons). Very cheap night out and lots of fun - shame about the hangover though - I could have lived without that.

We also won £40 on the Euromillions this Friday with the work’s syndicate. OK, so we bought £40 worth of tickets, but normally we don’t even win a tenner. Maybe our luck is changing?

I received an unexpected package yesterday morning - Mum had sent me a book which was a lovely surprise. It’s all about food.

Obviously this morning we’d no water.

OK, so perhaps it’s not the most exciting week ever recorded but at least stuff happened. Not all good stuff, but not all bad stuff either. Helped the week speed by anyway. I wonder what’s coming next?